DAY 3: FACE THE SHAME, DON’T FEED IT
DAY 3 PUMPUP!
Yesterday we celebrated micro victories. Today we’re going to face the sneakiest recovery saboteur: shame. Shame is the accelerant when fear and failure show up. Shame whispers that you’re broken, damaged goods. You don’t deserve happiness. You’ll never ____________ enough.
Here we’ve named shame and we’re refusing to let it drive our actions. Today we face shame head on. Even a little bit. That’s messy brave progress.
DAY 3 REFLECTION: Post below! (If you’re comfortable)
Share an example of shame trying to creep in today (or this week). What was said to you? How did you react? Or how could you react next time? Remember: no shame here. If deep isn’t happening, that’s okay. Naming it out loud here is victory enough. Comment on two other posts as well.
DAY 3 JOURNAL PROMPT: When has shame recently tried to convince you to give up on yourself? What words did shame specifically use? What were you afraid if those words were true?
Take a moment and write yourself a little love letter. If someone you cared about said those things about themselves what would you say to them? Allow yourself to credit for facing shame today (even if you felt defeated). Write: I am not my shame. I am the person who showed up today.
_______ is bigger than my shame.
DAY 3 MINDFULNESS PRACTICE: Spend 5-7 minutes practicing RAIN:
Recognize the shame. Feel it in your body or mind appearing
Allow the shame to exist without pushing it away.
Investigate with love- What are you scared of? What old story are you believing about yourself?
Nurture yourself as you would someone you loved.
Get comfy, close your eyes, and take your time working through whatever shame is present using RAIN.
OPTIONAL EXERCISE:
RAIN guided meditation on healing shame with Tara Brach: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlyuGSwaZQ8
REAL TALK FROM A COACH WHO’VE BEEN THERE…
James felt like there was a silent war raging inside of him and no one else seemed to notice. Raised in a household where your lips are sewn shut if there was drama and emotions were hidden behind stern faces and tight smiles. James kept his emotions to himself so well that by the time he realized something was off. By 21 years old, drinking numbed him out enough that he liked the feeling. At first…
Then it became too much. Wake up. Drink some more. rinse, repeat. He spent every day fighting the internal voice that shouted he was damaged beyond repair and incapable of love or being loved again. He became a professional secret holder and learned how to plaster on a fake smile and keep the jokes coming. Whatever was happening inside, stay hooked up on the outside.
The first time James spoke the words “I am ashamed.” Wasn’t anywhere near a moment of enlightenment at a mountaintop. It was sitting in circle holding someone’s shook hand, voice cracking, tears fighting to be hidden because crying felt like weakness. The words ripped through his throat and every part of him wanted to curl up in shame over spilling out so much pain. Vulnerability felt dangerous. But saying those words aloud left him terrified, ripped open, and completely exposed.
What he said next to nobody but himself would be the start of facing his shame instead of letting shame face him. I am not my shame. I am the person who loved hard enough to feel this pain.
Work is hard. Healing even harder. Reach out anytime.
COACHES GETTING REAL:
Today we face shame. It feels yucky and uncomfortable, but it won’t feed itself if we shine some light. Reach out today if shame is looming large or if you’re just here to cheer someone else on. We can do this together.
Community Growth Wins:
Comment on two other people’s posts.
Tag one friend who might be struggling with shame or guilt today. https://www.skool.com/progress-is-progress-coaching-3648
Journal any learning in your Tiny Wins + Lessons notebook.
Tomorrow we’ll learn how to accept setbacks without shame hijacking our emotions again. Day 4
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