Sabotage: The Sneakiest Little Bastard in Your Recover

Hey there, fellow travelers on the bumpy road to recovery. Let's talk about something that might just be the most annoying, frustrating, and baffling part of this whole journey: self-sabotage.

You know the drill. Things are going great. You've got your sobriety streak going, you're feeling good, physically and mentally...and then BAM! Out of nowhere, you find yourself scrolling through liquor store delivery apps or driving past your old dealer's spot. What the hell, brain?!

Self-sabotage: it's like that one friend who always cancels plans at the last minute, but instead of just being flaky, they're actively trying to derail your entire life.

So, why do we do this? Well, buckle up, because things are about to get real deep, real fast. Essentially, self-sabotage is the ultimate expression of fear. Fear of change, fear of success, fear of actually getting what we say we want.

Think about it: addiction is a familiar hell. It's scary and damaging, but it's what we know. Recovery, on the other hand, is unknown territory. It's the promise of a better life, but with that comes expectations...of ourselves and others. It's the threat of actually having to deal with our emotions, instead of just numbing them.

Self-sabotage is our way of putting the brakes on this whole terrifying process. It's our subconscious screaming, "Abandon ship! Get back to what you know, even if what you know is terrible!"

But here's the kicker: self-sabotage isn't always dramatic. Sometimes it's the little things. Procrastinating on getting to a meeting, isolating when you know you should reach out for support, or "forgetting" to take your medication. It's all sabotage, my friends.

So, how do we stop screwing ourselves over? Well, the first step is acknowledging it. When you catch yourself mid-sabotage, just pause. Recognize what's happening and tell yourself, "Ah, okay. My brain's being a little shit again."

Next, get to the root of it. What are you really afraid of? Is it success? Is it failure? Is it the idea of actually being happy? Once you can identify the fear, you can start tackling it.

Mindfulness is key here. Mindfulness is like the annoyingly healthy friend who always suggests a run when you want to hit the pub. It's a pain, but it keeps you on track. Practice recognizing your thoughts and emotions without judgment. When you feel the urge to sabotage, don't fight it...just observe it, like a curious scientist studying a particularly frustrating specimen.

And for the love of all things good, stop being so hard on yourself! You're going to screw up. It's part of the deal. Don't make things worse by piling on self-loathing. Instead, learn to laugh at your own ridiculousness. I mean, come on...we're the only species that actively works against its own best interests. That's kind of funny, in a sad way.

Recovery is a messy, imperfect thing. It's two steps forward, one step back, and sometimes it's one step forward, two steps back. But the important thing is that we keep moving. We keep acknowledging the sabotage, digging into the fears behind it, and practicing a little more self-compassion.

So, let's make a pact to stop being our own worst enemies. Let's get curious about our fears, instead of letting them control us. And when all else fails, let's just laugh at the absurdity of it all. Because at the end of the day, the only way to win against self-sabotage is to survive it, one frustrating little setback at a time.

Keep moving, folks. It's worth it, even when it doesn't feel like it.-Belle-