Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Jail, Psych Wards, and the Great American Ping-Pong Game: Why the System Can’t Decide What’s Wrong With You



Welcome to the Ping-Pong Championships

If you’ve ever been “lucky” enough to bounce between jail and the psych ward, you know what I mean by “the Great American Ping-Pong Game.” It’s like the universe took a look at your mental health and addiction issues and said, “Let’s see how many times we can make this one ricochet off the institutions before something sticks.” Spoiler: nothing ever really sticks. The ball just keeps going.

I’ve lived it. I’ve watched clients live it. I’ve sat in fluorescent-lit rooms with people who have racked up more intake assessments than traffic tickets, and I’ve seen that look in their eyes—the one that says, “Does anyone actually see me under all this paperwork?” The answer, half the time: not really.

Meet “Jake”—The Human Ping-Pong Ball

Let me introduce you to Jake (not his real name, but his story is all too real). Jake’s been in and out of the system since he was old enough to drive—hell, maybe before. He’s got a rap sheet with more pages than some people’s high school yearbooks, and a diagnosis list that reads like a pharmacy aisle: bipolar, PTSD, substance use disorder, anxiety, depression. Meth was his “go-to,” but honestly, anything to quiet the noise would do.

Jake’s first big bounce? Arrested at 19 for possession and “acting erratic” (read: full-blown mania, nobody caught it). He does a week in jail—no psych eval, just a cell and a cot. Released, no treatment, no follow-up. A month later, he’s in the ER after a suicide attempt. Now he’s in the psych ward—72 hours, a new diagnosis, a prescription, and a stack of discharge papers. No one asks about the meth. Nobody follows up on the meds.

Two weeks later, he’s back in jail for violating probation (missed a meeting; he was too depressed to get out of bed). In jail, the “treatment” is a cold turkey detox and a pamphlet about choices. When he finally gets out, he’s lost his job, his apartment, and whatever little trust he still had in the system. Rinse, repeat—over and over, for years.

Why the System Loves Its Ping-Pong Balls

You’d think after the third or fourth bounce, someone would notice the pattern. But the truth is, our systems are set up to treat symptoms, not people. Jail handles the crime. Psych wards handle the crisis. Substance use treatment handles the drugs. Each one with a different clipboard, a different intake, and a different set of rules about who’s “their problem.”

Nobody wants to admit that Jake—and the thousands like him—live at the intersection of all these things. Nobody wants to own the whole mess, because owning the mess means getting your hands dirty. It’s easier to just keep paddling the ball back and forth.

What Does It Do to a Person? (Hint: It’s Not Rehabilitation)

If you ask Jake, he’ll tell you: it’s not the jail food or the hospital gowns that break you. It’s the feeling that you’re always in the wrong place, surrounded by people who don’t really know what to do with you. In jail, you’re a “psych case.” In the psych ward, you’re “too addicted.” In outpatient, you’re “too crazy for group.” Everywhere, you’re too much of something and not enough of something else.

The effect? You stop believing in help. You stop believing in yourself. You start seeing yourself as a problem, not a person. And if you’re lucky—really lucky—you find someone, somewhere, who finally says, “Hey, maybe you need all these things at once, and maybe you deserve help anyway.”

So, What Do We Do? (Besides Burn Out or Give Up)

First, let’s call this what it is: a broken system that’s failing real people every day. If you’re a professional, you already know the feeling of trying to coordinate care between agencies that don’t talk to each other, or having to tell a client, “Sorry, we can’t help with that here.” If you’re in recovery, you know what it’s like to be bounced around like a problem nobody wants.

So where do we even start?

For Professionals:

  • Push for integrated care. That means clinics that treat mental health and addiction, under the same roof, with people trained to understand both.
  • Stop the gatekeeping. If someone’s in crisis, don’t send them away because “they’re too high” or “too sick.” Find the bridge, not the exit.
  • Advocate for better funding, more training, and fewer silos. Collaboration should be the rule, not the exception.
  • Remember the person. Jake isn’t a diagnosis or a criminal or a file number. He’s a human being, and he deserves a shot at something better.

For Clients and People in Recovery:

  • Be your own advocate, even when it’s hard. If you don’t get what you need at one place, keep asking. Keep knocking.
  • Find the places that do get it. They exist, even if they’re rare. Peer-run organizations, integrated clinics, harm reduction groups—these folks understand the ping-pong game and want to help you break out.
  • Share your story. The more we talk about this, the harder it is for the system to pretend it’s not happening. Find allies, online and off. You’re not alone, even if it feels like it.

Resources to Help Break the Cycle:

Does the World Even Know This Is a Problem?

Honestly? Most people have no idea. Unless you’ve lived it—or worked in it—the ping-pong game is invisible. The headlines focus on “overdose crisis” or “mental health epidemic” or “recidivism rates,” but nobody’s connecting the dots. Meanwhile, Jake (and so many others) are bouncing around in the background, getting bruised every time the ball changes hands.

It’s up to us—those who’ve lived it and those who see it every day—to make enough noise that the world can’t ignore it anymore.

The Ball Is in Our Court

I wish I could say there’s a magic fix, but the truth is, breaking out of the ping-pong game takes work from all sides. For professionals: fight for integrated, compassionate, person-first care. For people in recovery: keep pushing, keep sharing, keep demanding to be seen as a whole person, not just a problem to be passed around.

If you’ve ever felt like the world’s worst game of ping-pong, you’re not alone—and you’re not the ball. You’re a person, and you deserve a shot at a life that’s more than just bouncing from crisis to crisis.

Let’s make sure the next time someone asks, “Whose problem is this?” the answer is, “Ours.” Because that’s the only way we’re ever going to win this game.-Belle-

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Monday, June 23, 2025

My Brain Is a Bad Roommate: Living with Mental Health and Addiction in the Same Skull


My Brain Is a Bad Roommate: Living with Mental Health and Addiction in the Same Skull


Welcome to the Worst Roommate Situation Ever

If my brain were a roommate, I’d have called the cops on it by now. Picture this: a guy who never sleeps (thanks, meth), a neurotic who triple-checks every lock (hello, anxiety), a professional couch potato who won’t move off the couch or out of yesterday’s clothes (depression), and someone who can’t stop asking if you’re mad at them (dependent personality disorder). Oh, and codependency? She’s the one who organizes pity parties and never lets you RSVP “no.” It’s a full house up there, and not the fun kind with cheesy ’90s theme music and hugs at the end.

Who’s Running This Circus?

That’s my headspace. That’s recovery, for a lot of us. The wildest part? Half the time, I couldn’t tell if I was dealing with withdrawal, a mental health meltdown, or just another Tuesday with my internal circus. Was it psychosis, or just the world’s worst hangover? Was I anxious because I’d run out of Adderall, or because my anxiety decided to crank itself to 11 for no apparent reason? At some point, I just gave up trying to label which demon was making all the noise and just tried to survive the night.

And for years, I thought I was the only one with a skull full of freeloaders. Turns out, I’m not. I work with people every day who have their own full house: addiction, anxiety, depression, trauma—you name it, someone’s got it as a roommate. But here’s the kicker: the system usually tries to treat just one of them. It’s like evicting the meth addict but letting depression keep the spare key and anxiety run wild in the kitchen.

One-Size-Fits-None: The Trouble with “Pick One” Treatment

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched people bounce between programs—detox here, therapy there, meds somewhere else. Everyone wants to know which to handle first: “Do we treat the substance use or the mental health?” Like you can just pick one, as if the roommates won’t sneak back in through the window the second you turn your back.

A lot of clinics still act like you’re only allowed to be sick in one way at a time. But that’s not how brains work. That’s not how people work. And it’s definitely not how recovery works.

A Glimmer of Hope: Integrated Care and What’s Possible

My own clinic finally decided to stop playing hot potato with our clients. We used to just offer MAT and substance use counseling—now we do it all: mental health, substance use, MAT, the works. It’s a whirlwind, sure, but it’s finally a place where someone can bring their whole mess and not have to retell their story to three different people who don’t talk to each other. No more, “Go see this person for your meds, that person for your therapy, and someone else for your paperwork.” Just: “Come in. We’ll deal with the whole mess, together.”

And let’s be honest, the field needs more of this. More counselors who get both sides. More clinics that don’t make you choose which part of you is sick enough to get help. I’m back in school now, working toward a master’s in counseling/mental health, because there aren’t nearly enough practitioners who hold both licenses, and there are even fewer clinics who think treating the whole person is worth the effort.

For Professionals: Tear Down the Stigma—And Build Something Better

If you’re a professional in this field, here’s a challenge: stop drawing those neat little boxes around your clients’ pain.

  • Push your clinic or agency to offer integrated care. Get cross-trained.
  • Advocate for more funding, more dual-licensed staff, and less red tape.
  • Talk about stigma, every chance you get. Share the real stories (with permission), not just the statistics.
  • Listen to your clients when they say, “It’s all tangled together.”
  • Collaborate with other providers. Build bridges, not silos.

If you don’t know where to start, check out resources like SAMHSA’s Co-Occurring Disorders toolkit, or connect with organizations like NAADAC for training and advocacy.

For Clients: You Are Your Best Advocate (Even with Bad Roommates)

If you’re in recovery, or thinking about it, you need to know this: you are your own best advocate.

  • Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. If your clinic only treats one thing, ask about referrals or integrated programs.
  • Keep track of your own story. It’s exhausting to repeat yourself, but your experience matters.
  • If you hit a wall, don’t stop—find another door. There are more integrated care options showing up every year.

You can start by looking for providers who actually get co-occurring disorders (try directories on Psychology Today or Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Locator). Peer support groups like Dual Recovery Anonymous exist for a reason—they know what it’s like to have more than one battle at a time.

And if you’re not sure what you need? That’s okay. Sometimes the best advocacy is just showing up and saying, “I want help with the whole mess, not just one part.”

Let’s Survive This Roommate Situation—Together

I’m still learning how to live with my own bad roommates. Some days, we throw stuff at each other. Some days, we manage to clean up a little. But at least now, I know I’m not alone in this overcrowded apartment. And neither are you.

So—if your brain is a bad roommate, welcome to the club. We’ve got snacks, questionable coping mechanisms, and just enough hope to keep going another day. Pull up a chair. Tell me your story in the comments. And if you’re a professional or a client with ideas for breaking down these barriers, let’s hear them. Maybe, together, we’ll finally figure out how to split the rent.-Belle- 

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