Surviving (and Actually Enjoying) Thanksgiving in Recovery

Surviving (and Actually Enjoying) Thanksgiving in Recovery

The holidays. A time of joy, gratitude, and hotly contested political debates around the dinner table. It's a season of sparkling lights, cozy sweaters, and the warm, fuzzy glow of a freshly uncorked bottle of wine. Or three. Or ten.

For those of us in recovery, the holiday season can feel like a minefield, with triggers lurking behind every innocuous-seeming mug of hot buttered rum. And Thanksgiving, with its focus on food, family, and (let's be real) getting absolutely hammered, can be especially fraught.

The Minefield of Family Dynamics

Picture this: you're seated at the dinner table, surrounded by the loving faces of your family. Your aunt is telling the same story about your childhood embarrassing moment for the 12th time. Your cousin is loudly expounding on his political views. And your grandma keeps offering you "just one little pill" to take the edge off.

For people in recovery, the holidays can be a perfect storm of stress, temptation, and awkward family interactions. It's easy to feel like you're walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop (or in this case, the whiskey-fueled argument to erupt).

The Trap of Over-Control

One of the biggest pitfalls for families of people in recovery is the temptation to try to control the situation. To micromanage every detail, from the guest list to the cocktail menu, in an attempt to create a "safe" environment. But this can often backfire, leaving the person in recovery feeling like a fragile, breakable thing that everyone has to tiptoe around.

Newsflash: people in recovery aren't delicate flowers. We're not going to shatter into a million pieces the moment someone mentions alcohol. What we need from our families is support, understanding, and the space to take care of ourselves.

Families: How to REALLY Help

So, how can families walk the tightrope between supporting their loved ones and not treating them like a ticking time bomb? Here are a few tips:

• Open and honest communication. Ask your loved one what they need from you. What are their triggers? How can you best support them?
• Non-alcoholic options are a must. Make sure there are plenty of delicious, booze-free beverages available. And no, sparkling cider doesn't count.
• Have a plan. Discuss beforehand how you'll handle any sticky situations that may arise. Having an exit strategy can be a lifesaver.
• No pressure. Don't push your loved one to participate in things that make them uncomfortable. Let them set the boundaries.

Recovery: It's Time to Get Creative

For those of us in recovery, the holidays require a little extra strategizing. Here are some out-of-the-box coping mechanisms to try:

• Bring a buddy. Having a sober support person by your side can make all the difference. Plus, it's always more fun to roll with a crew.
• Get moving. A quick walk around the block or a few discreet yoga poses in the bathroom can help blow off steam.
• Practice radical self-care. Don't be afraid to take a step back and prioritize your own needs. Whether that means a quick power nap or a few minutes of meditation, taking care of you is key.
• Change the scene. Suggest doing something a little different, like going for a hike or playing a game. This can help shift the focus away from drinking.
• Be honest. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to say so. A simple "I'm feeling a little stressed, can we take a break?" can go a long way.

A Word on Shame

Let's talk about shame for a second. There's this pervasive idea in recovery circles that we have to earn our happiness. That we have to prove ourselves, over and over again, before we deserve to really enjoy the holidays. But that's just not true.

You deserve to have a happy, healthy Thanksgiving, just like everyone else. You deserve to celebrate, to feel joy, to wear ridiculous pajama pants and stuff your face with mashed potatoes. So let's try to leave the shame at the door, shall we?

Conclusion

The holidays in recovery aren't always easy. There will be challenges, temptations, and moments of frustration. But with the right support, a little creativity, and a whole lot of self-compassion, you can not only survive the holidays, but actually thrive.

So let's raise a (sparkling cider) glass to that. To a holiday season filled with joy, connection, and the kind of meaning that has nothing to do with a bottle. Cheers, friends!-Belle-