Progress is Progress... Mile or a Millimeter

Embracing My Dark Passenger: A Journey Through Addiction and Recovery Warning: This post contains dark humor and an even darker passenger. Proceed with caution. I'm not a serial killer, but I do have a "dark passenger." It's not the kind that kills people, but the kind that kills relationships, opportunities, and occasionally tries to kill me. If you've watched the show Dexter, you know what I'm talking about. For those who haven't, let me explain: My addiction is my dark passenger. It's the constant companion whispering terrible ideas into my ear, the shadow looming over my shoulder, the voice telling me to make that impulsive decision I'll definitely regret later. It's the part of me that doesn't want to get better, the part that sabotages my progress and convinces me to pick up a drink/drug/poor life choice again. For a long time, I hated this part of myself. I felt ashamed and broken, like I was forever chained to this destructive force...

Emotional Intelligence: The Secret Superpower of Recovery Let's talk about feelings. I know, I know, it sounds like the start of a cheesy rom-com or a bad 90s boy band song. But hear me out. See, most of us in recovery spent years trying to drown, numb, or just generally avoid our feelings like they were a bad ex. And it makes sense, right? If you've got a truckload of trauma and a side of toxic crap in your emotional backpack, the last thing you want to do is dig through all that. But here's the thing: you can't avoid your feelings forever. And honestly, that's a good thing. See, your feelings are like your body's built-in GPS. They're always trying to tell you something - that you're safe, that you're in danger, that you're about to make a huge mistake, or that you just found something amazing. The problem is, most of us never learned how to freaking read the map. That's where emotional intelligence comes in. Emotional intelligence is just ...

The Anthem of a Broken Generation: Unpacking Jelly Roll's "I Am Not Okay" I'm not crying, you're crying. Okay, fine. I'm crying. Jelly Roll's new song "I Am Not Okay" has me sobbing like I just found out I'm allergic to beer. But these ain't sad tears, folks. They're the ugly, cathartic, someone-pass-the-tissues kind of tears that come with finally feeling seen. Jelly Roll's raw, unflinching lyrics are a gut punch to anyone who's ever wrestled with their demons. And let's be real, that's most of us. Addiction, depression, anxiety - those are just the buzzwords. The real struggle is the feeling of being broken, of being so lost you can't see a way out of the dark. But here's the magic of Jelly Roll: he's not just surviving, he's thriving. And he's bringing all of us messed-up, still-figuring-it-out folks along with him. With every heartbreaking lyric and soaring chorus, he's screaming one thing l...

Learning to Trust Myself Again: A Wild Ride of Recovery, CBT, and Not Totally Screwing Things Up I used to trust myself about as much as I'd trust a raccoon with my lunch. Meaning, not at all. See, when you're deep in the throes of addiction, your internal compass is about as reliable as a drunk trying to give directions. You're constantly second-guessing, overthinking, and wondering if you're just messing everything up (spoiler alert: you probably are). But, as the fog of substances starts to lift, you're left staring at this stranger in the mirror – yourself. And you have to start figuring out how to trust that guy/gal again. It's like trying to relearn how to ride a bike, except the bike's on fire and there's a cliff involved. At first, it feels like you're making everything up as you go along. "Should I eat this sandwich? Is that a yes or a no?" It's exhausting. But slowly, you start to tune back into that little voice inside your h...

Recovery Reality Check: Ditch the "Fix It Now" Delusion Recovery. The buzzword everyone loves to throw around like it's a quick fix. Like it's a damn microwaveable meal. Pop in the effort, set the timer, and BAM! Instant healing. Sorry, folks, but I'm here to break it to you - that's a load of crap. I know. I was that person. The "I want it now, and I want it perfect" recovery warrior. And let me tell you, it ended in a blaze of glory...and by glory, I mean a spectacular implosion that left me worse off than when I started. So, here's the part where I'm supposed to tell you patience is a virtue, and good things come to those who wait. But let's get real - patience sucks. It's boring, it's frustrating, and it's hard as hell. But it's also your only ticket out of the mess you're in. Recovery isn't about being perfect. It's about being persistent. It's about learning to crawl before you can walk, and walk befo...

Recovery, Schmecovery: How to Demand Patient-Centered Care Without Losing Your Mind (Completely) You've decided to embark on the wild rollercoaster of recovery. Congratulations! You're probably excited, terrified, and utterly confused about where to start. First things first: you need to understand that recovery isn't a one-size-fits-all deal. It's like shoe shopping – what works for your best friend might make you look like you have clown feet. You need a program that fits your style, your quirks, and your unique brand of crazy. What's this "Patient-Centered Care" I Keep Hearing About? Patient-centered care is like having a recovery butler. Okay, maybe not quite, but it's close. It means your providers work WITH you, not AT you. They respect your autonomy (fancy word for "your right to make decisions about your own body and mind"), values, and preferences. It's collaborative, not dictatorial. Think of it like a recovery party where you...

When Expectations Collide: Addiction, Recovery, and the People We Love The moment you say the words "I'm addicted" to someone you care about, a whole Pandora's box of expectations opens up. There's what you think they'll do, what they actually do, what you wish they'd do...and let's be real, sometimes it's a hot mess. The Addict's Side: A Minefield of Expectations When you're in the throes of addiction, you might have some...let's call them "interesting" ideas about how your loved ones will react when you break the news. You might expect them to be all rainbows and unicorns, supporting you every step of the way because, hey, that's what family is for, right? Or you might be convinced they'll cut you out of their lives completely, because addiction equals total moral failure (spoiler alert: this is NOT true). Maybe you're hoping they'll be your personal sober coaches, providing 24/7 supervision and healthy sn...

  The Devil's in the Details: How Complacency Can Sabotage Your Recovery Recovery is a wild ride, folks. It's like that one aunt at the family reunion – unpredictable, a little too honest, and always good for a story. But just like how you wouldn't let that aunt near the open bar, you can't afford to get complacent in your recovery. You've been sober for years, attending meetings, seeing your therapist, doing all the "right" things. But slowly, you start to think, "I've got this. I can coast for a bit." And just like that, you're skipping meetings, canceling therapy appointments, and telling yourself, "One drink won't hurt." Newsflash: one drink will hurt. It's like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. Complacency is the devil's playground, and he's always looking for a new swing set. Aftercare is like your recovery's GPS. Without it, you might end up in a ditch somewhere, wondering how you got there. Resi...

Stepping into the Unknown: Because Let's Face It, Staying Stuck Sucks I'm diving headfirst into the deep end – and honestly, it's a bit terrifying. After years of being all about my own little family universe, I'm now teaming up with a total rockstar in my field to create stuff for teenagers. Like, actual adolescents. Not just the tiny humans I've been practicing on at home. This is new turf, folks, and my inner monologue is basically just a highlight reel of worst-case scenarios and crippling self-doubt. Newsflash: trying new things is basically just asking to be uncomfortable. It's like voluntarily signing up for a crash course in anxiety, with a side of imposter syndrome. Our brains are total jerks about this stuff, flooding us with questions we can't answer and fears we can't shake. It's way easier to just stick with what we know, even if what we know is a whole lot of meh. But here's the catch: "meh" is basically just a one-way tic...

Sabotage: The Sneakiest Little Bastard in Your Recover Hey there, fellow travelers on the bumpy road to recovery. Let's talk about something that might just be the most annoying, frustrating, and baffling part of this whole journey: self-sabotage. You know the drill. Things are going great. You've got your sobriety streak going, you're feeling good, physically and mentally...and then BAM! Out of nowhere, you find yourself scrolling through liquor store delivery apps or driving past your old dealer's spot. What the hell, brain?! Self-sabotage: it's like that one friend who always cancels plans at the last minute, but instead of just being flaky, they're actively trying to derail your entire life. So, why do we do this? Well, buckle up, because things are about to get real deep, real fast. Essentially, self-sabotage is the ultimate expression of fear. Fear of change, fear of success, fear of actually getting what we say we want. Think about it: addiction is a fami...