Progress is Progress... Mile or a Millimeter

  From Meth and Mayhem to Miracles: My Wild Ride to Redemption I get asked all the time, "What was it like?" They want to know about the chaos, the codependency, the criminal behavior, the abuse – physical, mental, emotional – and of course, the addiction. The dysfunctional world I lived in for so long. Well, let me tell you, it was a rodeo. A damn wild one. I wasn't even two weeks old when my aunt and grandma found me alone in a crib with a bottle of water. I was just a baby, left to fend for myself. They took me to my grandparents' house, and I never really left. They adopted me, but it wasn't until fourth grade that I found out my "sister" was actually my mom. Yeah, that was a kick in the teeth. I started using as a teenager. At 18, I hopped on a Greyhound to New York to marry some guy I met online. Yeah, that didn't end well. He dumped a bottle of vodka on my head and tried to set me on fire. Next up was a relationship full of c...

Transfer Addiction: The Sneaky Little Devil in Recovery's Details Recovery is a wild ride, full of twists and turns that'll keep you on your toes. Just when you think you've finally got a handle on that pesky booze problem, BAM! Suddenly, you're mainlining ice cream like it's nobody's business. Or maybe you traded in your cocaine habit for a shopping spree that's put your credit cards into critical condition. Congrats, friend, you've just earned yourself a front-row seat to the Transfer Addiction Circus! What is Transfer Addiction? Transfer addiction is like the annoying ex who just can't take a hint. You break up with booze, but suddenly you're head over heels for benzos. You kick cigarettes to the curb, only to find yourself sucking down vape clouds like they're going out of style. It's when you swap out one addictive behavior for another, often without even realizing you're doing it. Why Does Transfer Addiction Happen? Our brains a...

Hey there, fellow travelers on the wild ride of addiction and recovery. I'm your tour guide today - a substance abuse counselor with a credential I earned the hard way: my own years of using and recovering. I'm not here to preach, but to offer some real talk about how addiction crashes the family party and how you can pick up the pieces. Addiction: The Uninvited Houseguest Picture this: you're living your life, and then - BAM! - this unwanted guest named Addiction shows up at the door. At first, it seems fun, even charming. But soon, it's taken over the couch, drained your bank account, and turned your family dinners into war zones. That's what happens when addiction enters a family. It's like a disease that infects everyone, not just the user. Trust me, I've been both the infected and the infected-adjacent. Spotting the Symptoms (Beyond the Obvious) Okay, you might be thinking, "I'd know if addiction was wreaking havoc at my place." But the si...

  The Power of "Addicted" "I swear to God they'll probably never understand me. Sick of just walking around, pretending I'm happy. Feel like collapsing from all the weight that I carry." These raw lyrics from Vin Jay's song "Addicted" capture the pain and isolation that often accompany addiction. source The song paints a vivid picture of a person burdened by their struggles and feeling deeply misunderstood. source This resonates with many who have walked the difficult path of addiction and recovery. The Dual Nature of Music in Recovery Music has a unique power to both heal and harm when it comes to addiction. On one hand, it can be the hand that pulls us from the darkness, providing solace, inspiration, and a sense of connection. Artists like Vin Jay, who openly share their experiences with addiction, offer a voice for those who often feel silenced and alone. On the other hand, music can also be the shovel that buries us deeper into our strugg...

  My Journey, My Voice: Sharing My Truth About Addiction and Recovery I'm a wife, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a coworker, a friend, an auntie – and I'm in recovery. I'm also a substance abuse counselor, which means I've seen the journey of addiction and recovery from both sides. My blog is my way of sharing my unique perspective, my struggles, and my triumphs. It's about being real, breaking down stigma, and connecting with others who understand this challenging, rewarding path. Recovery isn't easy. Some days, it feels like an uphill battle. I've been the "loser," the one who felt uncool, unworthy. Self-doubt and abandonment issues are still things I work to overcome. But here's the important part: I'm not perfect, and I never will be. But I will never stop growing, either. Every time I hit publish on a blog post, it's a victory. It's me saying, "I'm not ashamed of my story." It's me using my voice to help others ...

Beyond Guilt: Healing from the Harm of Parenting Through Addiction I'll never forget the night my world shattered. My ex and I, both high on meth, got into a physical fight. I'll spare you the details, but I ended up with a split lip, and what's seared into my memory is seeing my toddler son, barely two years old, standing there in the chaos. His tiny face was smeared with my blood. In that instant, something inside me broke. I realized I wasn't just destroying myself with my addiction, but traumatizing my innocent children. If you're a parent who's struggled with addiction, you know the weight of this guilt. We've put our kids through hell, even if we didn't mean to. The lies, the broken promises, the times we weren't there when they needed us... it's a painful list to reflect on. But here's the thing: guilt, while understandable, isn't going to help our kids heal. Or us, for that matter. So, how do we move forward? How do we make amends...

Dying to Get Clean: Grief, Loss, and Not Losing Your Damn Mind in Recover Death. The ultimate buzzkill. It's like that one friend who always calls at the worst times, and always manages to bring down the party. And when you're in recovery, Death's like that clingy ex who just won't take a hint. Keeps showing up, never buys you a drink, and always wants to talk about your feelings. I've had an unfortunately intimate relationship with this guy Death. Raised by my grandparents, both gone before my 25th birthday. And then, 2020 happened. You know, that fun year where we all got a worldwide pandemic, and I got a side of parental loss with my existential dread. Yeah, that was a blast. But here's the kicker – when you're active in your addiction, Death's just an acquaintance. You're too busy getting high/drunk/laid to really feel much of anything, let alone the crushing weight of grief. And in early recovery, you might still be running on those fumes, stayi...

The Paradox of Knowing vs. Doing I'm a walking, talking paradox. By day, I'm a substance abuse counselor, doling out wisdom and strategies to those wrestling with addiction. By night, I'm a nicotine-craving, cake-loathing, midnight-snacking hypocrite. My medical chart would read: "Patient exhibits high levels of self-awareness, low levels of self-control." You'd think that being neck-deep in the recovery world, surrounded by the latest research and armed with a degree, would make me immune to addictive behaviors. But knowledge is only half the battle, folks. Sometimes it feels like I'm shouting at myself in the mirror: "You know better! DO better!" Yet, the cigarettes still get bought, the junk food still gets devoured. The Gap Between Knowing and Doing This isn't unique to recovery or addiction. We've all been there - aware of a problem, aware of the solution, yet stuck in a rut. It's the diet you know you should start, the exercise ...