Wanna Know More About Me?

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Minocqua, Wisconsin
I'm Belinda. Plot twist: I'm both a recovering addict AND a substance use disorder clinician. If you'd told me years ago I'd be where I am today, I would've laughed so hard I might've fallen off my barstool. But here we are, and somehow life turned out way better than any high I chased back in the day. I started this blog because we need to cut through all the BS around addiction and recovery. There's enough shame and stigma out there, and I'm pretty much done with it. It's time to get uncomfortable and talk about the stuff nobody wants to talk about. The messy parts. The real parts. Home-wise, I'm living my best chaos in northern Wisconsin with my incredible partner (our family's human rock), two amazing boys (one rocking the autism spectrum), a weirdly lovable dog named Baby Dog, and a cat named Steve. While our neck of the woods is postcard-pretty, we're not immune to the addiction crisis. This blog? It's going to be honest. Sometimes painfully so. Sometimes funny (because if we can't laugh at the darkness, what's the point?). Always real. Welcome to my corner of the internet, where recovery meets reality, and we don't sugarcoat a damn thing.

Wednesday, May 1, 2024

So this happened today...

The Unseen Plot Twist: A Recovery Story with a Real "Click"

Imagine if you will, a tale not unlike those within the dog-eared pages of a suspense novel. Our protagonist? A client in a 30-day treatment program for addiction. Think of it as a reality show where the contestants aren't vying for roses but for sobriety—and the stakes are life and death. Now, our main character played the part well, a performance worthy of an Oscar. "Fake it till you make it," they say, and fake it he did, through group therapy sessions and meditation exercises, all while secretly counting down—days, then hours, like a child eagerly awaiting Christmas morning. Except this gift was different. It wasn't a shiny bike or a new toy; it was the promise of a high waiting in the wings of his workshop/garage, his own personal backstage area. I had the chance to speak with him, post-treatment, and the story he shared had the kind of twist you don't see coming. I had hoped to hear tales of epiphanies during art therapy or breakthroughs by the campfire, but instead, he confided a chilling plan. He was going to leave treatment and dive straight back into the arms of his addiction, with his devoted wife unwittingly playing the role of enabler, dope in hand. But then came the moment—the real "click." It wasn't in the therapy room or during a moment of quiet reflection. It was in the passenger seat of his car, just outside the rehab facility. His wife turned to him, not with the expected package, but with a clean drug test of her own. She had stayed sober, for him, for them. In that instance, his narrative shattered. The realization hit him like a plot twist that leaves the reader gasping for air. He understood that while he could perhaps live with his own self-destruction, he couldn't be the villain in her story. He faced two choices: continue down the path of addiction, which was like being the main character in a tragic play where the final act is a solitary bow in the dark, or choose a different ending, one where the lights stay on and the applause is for a life reclaimed. And guess what? He chose the latter. He chose her. He chose life. It's been said that 30 days of intense residential treatment can't force readiness upon someone. But sometimes, readiness doesn't come with fanfare or a parade. Sometimes, it's quiet; a whisper of change in the backseat of a car, the soft showing of love through a negative drug test. And as of today, he remains sober—a living testament to the fact that the road to recovery is not a straight line. It's a series of twists and turns, unexpected revelations, and moments of truth that can come from places we never imagined. So, dear reader, let this story be a reminder that change can happen in the blink of an eye, or in this case, in the click of a seatbelt. It's a narrative that continues to be written, one day at a time, with the support of those who choose to believe in the possibility of a happy ending. And isn't that a plot we can all get behind? -Belle-

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